The Meat We Don't Eat

Toward the end of 2010, we made the decision to stop eating most meat. I say most because we still occasionally ate seafood, with sushi being a favorite treat. So, we gave up beef, pork, poultry, and basically anything else that can walk. I wasn’t sure if we’d ever become fully vegan, but having dropped dairy and eggs along the way, we were closer rather than further from it. I’ve always loved the taste of meat, especially beef, and never actually thought I’d be able to give it up.

I did try, once, in my early twenties and was able to do it for about two years. Although I’ve always loved animals, it wasn’t an animal-rights choice then, or even a health one, really. I worked with a girl at the time who to me was the epitome of glowing health, who happened to be vegetarian. So, the following New Year’s Day, that was my resolution – to follow in the footsteps of this tall, thin, blond, relaxed, happy girl. I think she was a couple of years younger than I was, so at that time it probably wouldn’t have mattered if she ate toxic waste for lunch, she would still most likely be the beautiful, energetic teenager I knew.

The problem with me giving up meat at that time was that I’ve never been interested in the preparation of food. I liked eating, just not having anything to do with how it got to the point of being ready for consumption. And back then there weren’t very many vegetarian options as easily available in stores and restaurants as there are now. So, I subsisted mainly on salads. That was okay for a while, but for a hard core meat eater—whose favorite dish was steak tartare—a life of simple dinner salads (really, they were all mostly just lettuce and tomatoes) was just not going to cut it. So, eventually, I went back to meat. And I found it tastier than ever and thought I would never be able to overcome the addiction after my failed attempt. But I also didn’t have any real reasons for trying it, or any real motivation for learning to eat a different way. It had to come about naturally, slowly.

As I said, I’ve always loved animals. All animals. Of course dogs and cats were a given, but really any living being had the potential to end up with a rich family life and a great back story. Maybe it’s the influence of Disney movies. Maybe my mom’s harsh bedtime stories, designed to draw out sympathy toward all things, living or not (which is really very similar to Disney’s characterizations) were the root of it all. It was most likely a combination of the two, with my own sappy personality thrown in. (To this day, animated movies are the most likely to make me cry.)

W, on the other hand, had been a vegetarian for about 8 years before giving it up shortly before we started dating. We enjoyed many wonderfully meat-filled meals together for quite a while. The fact that he likes to cook and is so good at it made it even more enjoyable. His choice to stop eating meat all those years ago had been health-based; his body just didn’t like the heaviness of meat. But eventually he started eating it again and found that he enjoyed food more than he had in the past. But then we started changing.

W, who’s always researching topics of interest through as many sources as possible, started reading things on Buddhism, which led to many other similar subjects. I then found a radio station that provided a different perspective on the news than the usual sources, and we both started looking at/into things a little differently. Most of these things dealt with compassion and a less selfish way of looking at life.

For a while, I struggled with reconciling what now seem like two very opposing ideas of loving animals and not wanting to cause them harm and loving the way a steak tastes when it’s medium rare. I wasn’t sure I could give it up, but at the same time, it made me feel guilty.

Eventually, I decided that we had to stop. It was just going to be “meat that walks” at first. But the more information we looked at, the more sense it made to go all the way and exclude as many animal products as we could from our diet.

I’ve been asked why and have tried to explain it as best as I can. I think it really boils down to not wanting to be a part of the violence, and believing that our lives aren’t more important than others’ lives. We do not need to eat animals in order to survive, or even in order to be healthy. As a matter of fact, there’s plenty of evidence to show that not eating them is healthier for us (and obviously them, too).

When we saw Forks Over Knives, I was so excited to show it to the people I care about, to share the information with them and maybe give them a reason to try it my way. I have a very supportive family, so they watched, complimented it, had a vegan dinner with me…and then went back to eating the way the always have. And even though I knew that I wouldn’t be able to just change someone else’s life with the click of a button on the DVD player, I guess I was a little disappointed that it didn’t actually have a more lasting impact. Obviously, I care about my family and I want them to be healthy and live a long time (in as comfortable a way as they can). But I know that I can’t make these decisions for anyone else. I know how hard it was for me to come to this on my own – and I know that it had to be on my own, in my own time.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to try to change anyone’s mind or even get into a discussion about it.  This is my choice because I wholeheartedly believe it’s the right one. I feel that I’ve matured into it. I wish people would stop eating meat and there was no need for gigantic industries that torture animals for no reason. I wish life in general were more respected by more people. I wish compassion were something taught as a part of raising children (something we’re trying to do). And I wish it wasn’t seen as something out of the ordinary to have this perspective.

I’m sure this will pop up on here again from time to time when I’m venting about stuff, but I wanted to put it out there as a starting point for those of you who didn’t know.