Black

Black, like the rain clouds, he mused of his soul

(Eliciting laughter from all those who came

Night after night drawn by the warmth)

Black like the clothes and the words of their youth

Dripping with irony, anarchy, angst...

Now in the sunny midday of age

Uncertain stability reigns

And more practical thoughts take the stage

(Can providing be measured in numbers

...or feelings?)

Humility as doubt visits still

Carrying questions we answer more easily for others,

Never ourselves

(Life has an interesting sense of humor)

It would be a crime then, on our part

Having warmed by the generous flames,

Not to smile at the ponderings of darkness

Raise a glass (pointing out the glowing crowd)

And say thank you

SNN: Iniquitous Saints

Those little fat ladies
With their big rounded bellies
Outside of their churches
Eating doughnuts with jellies

Gossiping, self-righteous
Only their way is right
Only pause the backstabbing
To be seen as polite

But turn your back quickly
So they don't have to wait
To tell So-and-So
Who you've started to date

Whispers and giggles
That put teen girls to shame
Secret codes in their language
Like some sci-fi geek game

Offended they get
To have you play their game
For they sure can dish out
But they can't take the same

Just try turning the tables
On them but one time
And with horror they'll scream
“Why, you're no friend of mine!”

Family life they'll defend
Till their dying day
Unless family displeases
Then they'll be sent away

To their infants they make
Their most secret confessions
For who else to confide in
But your precious possessions?

Upon introductions
You'll hear quite a story
Of their victimized lives
That should make you quite sorry

'Cause for all the “belief”
That they hide behind
The intolerance and judging
Makes them quite blind

And for all the frustration
You may feel at their sight
There is more of a reason
To pity their plight

Upon closer inspection
It's so sad to see
There's a lack of connection
With reality

SNN: Nausea

Spinning, swirling
Leaves surround me
In the midst of some Great Fall

Dizzy,
Sleepless
Lacking focus

A little breathless
Pain with every misread word
(or lack thereof)

Imagination must allow us to believe

My silly head will grasp
What my heart and body already know

SNN: Little Boy Lost

He knows exactly what to say
He knows exactly what to do

No doubts or fears
No insecurities
Plague him at night
Alone in bed

Being a man, he is strong and wise
He never makes mistakes
Never feels scared
Alone
Or empty

Never needs someone else
(That would be weak)

He shoulders, as a man is supposed to
All problems, fears and doubts of those around him
Trying to please, placate, protect

All blame sits squarely on those manly shoulders
Like it's supposed to

You'll never see him falter, stumble, ask for help
Or cry (it would be wrong, he is a man)

…he must be perfect

SNN: Sadness

Sometimes
this overwhelming sadness sets in
And you start thinking about something
you had almost convinced yourself you had forgotten
And this awful feeling hits you
Like an answer to a question
you never really meant to ask
And you know that it's true because otherwise you wouldn't be crying